Relationships and sex talks are readily discarded by leaders and even parents. This makes young people seek information else where and does not normally end well.
“…and through Him all things were made.” I believe that the Bible contains information on every subject or issue and yes that includes relationship issues. The Bible is not outdated on this topic as some claim. Almost every Christian will quickly point to “songs of Solomon” when it comes to these things but other scriptures contain knowledge on it.
This article is to answer questions bothering the youth concerning dating and sex from the Christian point of view.
The question every young person asks is”when can I date?”
In Genesis 29, Jacob worked for fourteen years to have Rachel. Theologians also believe Mary was not yet twenty years when she began courtship with Joseph. The time to start dating and its duration depends on the individual, BUT Christians are to date with the sole aim of marriage. The key thing is purity, so for someone who wants to marry at thirty and starts dating at eighteen he or she is stay pure for twelve years.
In these times it is increasingly difficult to stay pure while dating (and to think of doing that for fourteen years). Most counsellors recommend two years as the maximum duration of courtship.
Another question boggling the minds of a lot of people is the extent in dating or how far one can go with the partner when dating. Most young people are of the notion that as long as there is no penetration, it is not sinful.
Again, let’s take Mary as an example; if she had done everything with Joseph except penetration before marriage, no one would have believed the virgin birth of Jesus. Jesus also said that even if you look lustfully at a woman you have committed adultery in your heart. One leader in the church said “you should be able to do all you do with your partner in front of the church” (scary right?). Abstinence from all sexually related activities is key in ensuring a successful marriage.
Some argue that since God is the one who placed those hormones in us, He expects us to act on them have sex at will. The difference between you the Christian and an unbeliever is the Holy Spirit. He helps us overcome the desires of the flesh. You being eighteen does not mean you can drive, you first need to be taught and given the license for that. Comparing it to the issue of sex, you having sexual desires does not mean act on them.
This piece cannot be complete without touching on same sex interactions(homosexuality) and the issue of pornography. The Bible is clear on its stance, God is totally against them. It is quite sad to realise the number of Christians in such addictions. There are so many suggestions on how to break from those addictions. Only Jesus has the power to truly save from those habits, look to Him for strength.
No man can say he has never had the urge to have sexual interactions, we all have those desires. God’s word never changes no matter how “enlightened” the world becomes and He has told us to flee from sexual sins. The Christian walk is not easy especially when it comes to such issues but the Holy Spirit gives us the strength to overcome.
God bless you for reading and sharing.
Written by Samuel Adu Amaniampong, sAmInSpiReSbLoG team member.